The Pihu Stories #3: When “Obey Your Elders” Silenced a Child

 Part of the series {The Pihu Stories: The Verdict at Home}

Content Warning: This story discusses child sexual abuse.

There was an ordinary village where a little girl named Pihu lived with her joint family. They had two houses in the village. Both houses were in different places, and to go to the other house, they had to walk through fields of crops.

One day, when she was 5 years old, she asked her mother to let her walk through the fields so that she could go to her other home. Her mother saw her uncle (a neighbour) going in the same direction. Her mother asked her uncle to take Pihu with him. He happily agreed because he had his own plans.

As they walked through the fields, the crops were taller than her. The narrow mud path felt longer than usual. She was innocent and unaware of danger. She trusted him because her mother trusted him. She walked beside him quietly, sometimes looking at the sky, sometimes at the crops brushing against her small hands.

When they reached near the ripe crop fields, he suddenly grabbed Pihu and went inside those fields. The crops surrounded them. She was confused and kept looking at his face, trying to understand what was happening. Her small mind could not process it. She froze.

He raped that little girl. Her eyes filled with tears, but she did not understand the meaning of what was happening. She only knew something was wrong. Something felt unsafe. Something did not feel like love or care.

After it was over, her eyes were no longer the same. Before, they were curious and playful. After that day, there was confusion in them. A silent fear. She avoided looking directly at people. It was as if a question had settled inside her — “Did I do something wrong?”

He stared at her and said, “Do not tell anyone.”

She agreed not to tell anyone. But why? Because her parents had taught her to obey elders and not to question them. She thought maybe she was supposed to stay quiet. Maybe this was what “respect” meant.

She never told that incident to her parents.

Because of that incident, she became traumatized. She became quiet for days and sometimes even for weeks. Silence in her daily life looked like this: she stopped asking questions. She stopped insisting on going outside. She sat alone even when other children were playing. Sometimes she would suddenly get irritated without knowing why. Sometimes she would refuse to go through the fields again but could not explain the reason.

She faced mood swings. She sometimes did not like to talk. She now finds it difficult to trust men. Somewhere inside her, fear stayed.

What can we learn from this?

1. Parents: Do not trust anyone easily. It is true that parents cannot be with their child all the time. But still, you cannot just hand over your child to neighbours or relatives without being careful.

2. Parents: If you have to leave your child with anybody for some time, then make sure to ask your child what they did. Is everything okay? Did anyone ask your child not to tell you anything? If yes, ask what that thing was — politely.

3. Parents: Make it a habit for your child to tell you everything, even if someone says not to tell. Because as parents, you are the only ones who can protect your child.

4. Victims: Hey kid, if you are reading this — listen to me. If something bad happens to you, it is not your mistake. You did not do anything wrong. Your parents are with you. Go and talk to them. Tell them everything. If you are not comfortable telling your parents, that is okay. You can tell any trusted person. Go and tell someone.

5. Hey kid/woman: If you do not have anyone to talk to, you can text me. We can talk.

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